Beard Necessities (Winston Brothers, #7) sex and erotica

download The Janus AffairAuthor Pip Ballantine –

Certainly No Strangers To Peculiar Occurrences, Agents Wellington Books And Eliza Braun Are Nonetheless Stunned To Observe A Fellow Passenger Aboard Britain S Latest Hypersteam Train Suddenly Vanish In A Dazzling Bolt Of Lightning They Soon Discover This Is Not The Only Such Disappearance Every Case Inexplicably Unexamined By The Crown

10 thoughts on “The Janus Affair

  1. says:

    Inspiration level 10 going on 2,500 Caffeination status need moar Need much moar HALP Not sure that will make any difference at this point but the thoughtful thought is thoughtfully appreciated, Little Barnacles Mine Thank thee kindly and stuff.So First things first I m a complete, total, utter moronic idiot Of course not, you say Don t be so hard on your nefarious little self, you say You are our brilliantly smart, fearless, cunning leader, you say Why, you say Because I read the first book in this series when it was originally published, slightly enjoyed it a little so much that I bought the present instalment directly after and stuff only to leave it shamelessly abandoned in the unfathomable depths of my Device of Doom aka my Kindle for SIX bloody shrimping years To think of all the Pieces of Crap PoC I barely made out alive of When I could have been reading this Fun Romp of Steampunk Merriment FRoSM Ergo, a moronic idiot is undoubtedly me Okay, so this series is about two, um, archivists Deceptively Nerdy Mr Books of the Ridiculously Appropriate Name Then Again Maybe Not and Kick Ass Ms Braun of the Super Hot Bulletproof Corset aka Our Beloved Colonial Sexpot Pepperpot Both of them are Poof Gone Harem PGH , by the way, so don t get any silly ideas into your silly little heads Anyway, Books and Braun work for the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences this is case you were feeling particularly clueless today and hadn t noticed the name of the series You are quite welcome and stuff , said Ministry being in charge of investigating, um, you know, peculiar, um, you know, occurrences and, um, you know stuff Like, um, you know, weird stuff and occult stuff and miscellaneous if slightly mystifying evil stuff Which is pretty cool and stuff, so let s dance and stuff.This instalment sees our Dashing Duo of the Delicious Banter and Delightful Interactions DDotDBaDI investigating the mysteriously mysterious disappearances of bloody various Suffragettes, said charming ladies having recently developed the most curious tendency to vanish in Super Extra Flashy Bolts of Lighting SEFBoL Mayhem and chaos ensue, yay In a most scrumptiously entertaining way, I must say Granted, this little book here ain t no Nobel Prize material, but who the stinking fish of the bloody shrimp cares anyway You might not raise your IQ to 256.58 while reading Books and Brown s titillating adventures in Steampunkish Victorian Times SVT , but there is a slight chance you might possibly find your little self most diverted, amused and cheerfully occupied for a few hours Maybe Perhaps Well you should if you have Impeccable Book Taste IBT like me, anyway I can t speak for the Fellowship of the Despicable Book Taste, obviously So why is this book such a FRoSM , you ask Sorry, what You forgot what FRoSM stands for That s so sad Your life really sucks, doesn t it Now please stop interrupting or we ll be here forever and I ll never get my coffee IV going So This book is such a FRoSM because it comes fully equipped with A most intriguing plot Exciting action aplenty Hahaha stuff galore Baked, cooked and sizzled geese The mostest awesomest semi clockwork housekeeper ever The Ministry Seven Who Would Be Eight If They Weren t Seven But They Aren t Seven So They Are Eight, aka the coolest, most kidnap worthy street urchins ever Gangs of ruthless female thieves who roam the streets of London Ever so slightly unbalanced villains Cool contraptions and devices and gadgets that would make Q proud In case you were wondering, I am talking about the only Q that ever was and ever will, i.e this one, and not about ridiculously silly little younglings Harmless morons vs dangerous morons Arrogant little strumpets Regurgitating flower shops don t ask Yummy Haka Times YHT The book is probably worth 4 stars for that alone, if you ask me Because, seriously, who can resist something like this Not this shrimp, that s for sure swoons and pants and stuff And last, but most certainly not bloody shrimping least, this FRoSM is such a FRoSM because it features A devilishly handsome archivist nurturing a grudge who says hotly irresistible stuff like My god, I think I m sweating swooning intensifies And A trigger happy heroine South Pacific Angel of Wanton Destruction and Calamity, who says High Security Harem qualifying stuff like May I have your name for the record, Miss Eliza Braun, Eliza sneered Here, I ll spell it for you B U G G E R O F F panting intensifies And the moral of this Thank Fish This Pretty Much Reads As A Standalone Because Ancient Little Me Couldn t Even Remember the MCs Names When I Picked Up This Book Please Feel Free to Eyeroll Crappy Non Review is TFTPMRAASBALMCERtMCNWIPUTBPFFtECNR is In lurve with Books and Braun I most certainly am, and wait another six years to read the next instalment in this series I shall not, for lived much moronically and learned from my stupidly idiotic mistakes I have Go me and stuff Book 1 Phoenix Rising Book 3 Dawn s Early Light Book 4 The Diamond Conspiracy Book 5 The Ghost Rebellion Book 6 Operation Endgame Pre Review Nonsense Dashing archivists and vanishing suffragettes and dangerous morons and baked geese, oh my This is me in my cat costume, being slightly excited about this book In case you were wondering and stuff. Full Why the Fish Did I Wait Six Bloody Shrimping Years to Read this Book Because I m a Complete Idiot that s Why Crappy Non Review WtFDIWSBSYtRtBBIaCItWCNR to come.

  2. says:

    It s been a year since Agent Eliza Braun was pulled from the field due to insubordination temper, temper, Miss Braun and sentenced to work in the archives with Mr Wellington Thornhill Books, the archivist Nothing remotely exciting has happened since their very first case together, the one involving a secret society, and Miss Braun is starting to become restless She needn t worry, though, since trouble is attracted to her just as Eliza is attracted to trouble, and before you know it, our dashing archivist and our colonial pepperpot find themselves entangled in a complicated case involving missing suffragists, teleportation, ghosts from the past and quite a few explosions Of course, Eliza and Welly aren t supposed to be working outside the archives at all, but the field agent assigned to the case has been neglecting his duties in the worst possible way and meanwhile, women from the movement are still disappearing.Unlike the first installment, The Janus Affair was harder to get into The beginning was pretty slow compared to the explosive opening scene of Phoenix Rising I struggled with the first 80 pages for five days straight, giving up and then forcing myself to restart, only to give up again after 10 pages or so But when things finally started moving, when Eliza and Welly reminded me just how extraordinarily witty and dysfunctional they are, I wanted to kick myself for waiting so long to push through the beginning I should have remembered how wonderful these two characters are when they interact, how amusing when they snap at each other and, despite all their bickering, how protective they become when a third party goes after one of them Your faith in my abilities does inspire me as would Helen s visage, snipped Wellington Helen had a thousand ships covering her backside, mate Eliza shrugged, motioning to him I have an Archivist who s afraid of guns You figure out who has the better deal There is of everything in The Janus Affair action, humor, inventions, peculiar occurrences, witty banter and ahem unresolved sexual tension My poor Books is too nerdy and shy to admit to himself, let alone to Eliza, how he really feels, but the arrival of Eliza s old flame from New Zealand might just push him over the edge Everyone has secrets, right Even our gentle archivist has a surprise or two in store.This, my darlings, is steampunk at its best I m not exactly an expert on the genre, but I do recognize quality when I see it, and spouses Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris delivered quality work not once, but two times From the language especially language and society to the intriguing inventions, even the smallest detail is in its place If you intend to read one steampunk in your life, this is what you should choose Ballantine and Morris know what they re doing.Also posted at The Nocturnal Library

  3. says:

    I really liked the first in this series and I really enjoyed the second as well There are some jokey things with the naming I could have done without, but overall I got caught up in the characters a LOT, even so than the last installment I really like how romance cliches aren t followed in this book, and it s really of an adventure novel with some romance thrown in I love the female lead is tough without TRYING too hard, I loved her old flame coming in, not cackling like a bad guy, but being a genuinely interesting character The overall plot was interesting, and the steampunk stuff continues to be super fun and well thought out I usually hate children in books like this because they re just WAYYYY too adorable, but these kids didn t make me crazy like they usually do although Ilona Andrews has YET to be topped in the cool kid department with her Edge series Love those kids.Anyhoo, definitely a good read for people who like steampunk and mysteries and period pieces, guy or girl

  4. says:

    At first, as I was reading this, I found myself in the position of the parents at the school play in Down With Skool At least, I said, it s better than last year s The first Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences novel has been widely praised, and has even won an award, but personally I was profoundly unimpressed with it my Goodreads review is here At the end of that review, I said that despite its many flaws it looked like it had promise, and that the sequel could well be better It is, although some of the same flaws are still on display.First, of course, the jokey names I m not a fan of jokey names I think it s a cheap attempt at getting a laugh and from me it doesn t Books and Braun, seriously Not to mention Bruce Campbell apparently the name of a modern B movie actor , Miss Shillingworth the equivalent of Miss Moneypenny , and the insertions of the authors friends the clankertons Axelrod and Blackwell, and the cracksman Fast Nate Lowell Each time this sort of thing occurred, I was jerked out of what suspension of disbelief I d managed to achieve and reminded of the book s status as a work of fiction But that could be just me.Steampunk, like Camelot, is a silly place, and I can t really carp at the anachronistic technology It s a genre trope, and I always try to allow for genre tropes But the book is full of other anachronisms, too There are two real historical people in The Janus Affair, Kate Sheppard and her son Douglas, but they are the wrong ages, and I suspect there s not much else about them that s historically accurate either In 1896, which is when the book is set, Kate Sheppard was 49 not over 50 , and, importantly, Douglas was 16, not the full grown man portrayed The New Zealand rugby team wears black and performs the haka, 8 years before the 1905 Originals So let s assume that no historicity is intended I m not sure that excuses the many anachronisms of speech I ll talk about the New Zealand speech, since as a New Zealander I know how we talk The New Zealanders use the Maori greeting Kia Ora, and refer to New Zealand as Aotearoa which was a name first used by a European in 1898, and wasn t commonly used by pakeha non Maori New Zealanders until about the 1990s, as Kia Ora also wasn t I don t think New Zealanders called people mate in the late 19th century, either, though I m open to correction Most of the slang seems to be contemporary there s even the phrase not all that, meaning not very good, which is American ghetto slang from the early 1990s None of this is obscure knowledge You can check it in a couple of minutes with Google and Wikipedia Even if we set all that aside, there are a great many a very great many language mistakes Not as many as in the first book, where they were almost constant here, we go whole chapters without one but they are still numerous The authors are obviously bad with homonyms and near homonyms they write fair for fare, bobble for bauble, eluded for alluded, touting for toting, grizzly for grisly and so on They and their editor don t spellcheck adequately women s is punctuated as womens twice , and visible is spelled visable A woman s name is spelled Francis which is the masculine form the feminine is Frances.Some passages, mostly Books internal dialogue, are full of awkward sentences like this This was another unique trait of Eliza s semi clockwork housekeeper she was not a fixture or addition to the household What does that even mean Or Even if the women were to receive the vote, the right would never befall on Alice as she was merely a contrivance to the manor It s gibberish If you must write like a 19th century newspaper and really, must you , at least do it competently Or even comprehensibly Incidentally, a manor is a very specific kind of home It s not a synonym for household There are also many sentences with words missing or misplaced or simply wrong More disturbing of all Even the best sentences are seldom vivid, and I never thought that s exactly the right word choice or that s really well put , while I often thought that s the wrong word for what you apparently mean.Then there s serve at Her Majesty s pleasure you keep using that phrase I don t think it means what you think it means.As I said before, this kind of error was much common in the earlier book, but it s far from eliminated in this one.There are errors of continuity Books didn t break the rules in the rugby game He says it, Douglas says it And then a couple of chapters later, he had blatantly broken the rules.There are errors, or what look like errors, of scene How the heck do you throw a tray at someone who s facing you and hit them in the elbow Or punch someone who s facing you in the kidney Dr Sound keeps giving the main characters days off every time something disturbing happens Another anachronism A present day employer would do that, but would a 19th century one Likewise, the duke and the doctor addressing each other by their first names What Unlike the first book, where it felt severely forced to me, the attraction between Books and Braun seems much natural here But there s another forced seeming attraction The assassin is attracted to her heavily cyborged Maestro at the end of a chapter in which she continually complains to herself how high handed he is and how he treats her with no respect And then nothing ever comes of it.So, still a great many flaws On the macro level, though, the book I thought improved a lot on its predecessor I ve noticed that Phillipa Ballantine has a tendency to leap straight into the cruelty, mayhem and death without waiting to establish empathy which is why I ve so seldom finished her books , and she s much restrained this time There s even a brief moment, admittedly after someone dies and not before, where we re told though not shown how devastating that was to her family left behind This is progress There aren t nearly so many innocents slaughtered this time, and the villain isn t as over the top The main action still comes later than I would prefer, but there are bits of action scattered through the earlier part of the book A book like this cries out to have lots of action scenes, to race from one to another a tried and tested way to distract readers from flaws, incidentally , and we don t get that.All in all, though, The Janus Affair earned its third star, and I d like to hope that with hard work and attention to detail the next one could make it to four.

  5. says:

    Read This Review More Like It On My Blog I loved this Absolutely Frikkin Loved it I tried to draw out the experience and couldn t make myself stop reading the second day Without a doubt, this impressive second novel in the newer Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences series is going into my best of 2012 shelf as well as my much less used all time favorites I think I may even have loved this book like I love my hallmark series of steampunk, Gail Carriger s formidably funny and inventive Parasol Protectorate series I literally have nothing to complain about here, and that is rare That s a lot of praise for a book to live up to, but The Janus Affair is that rare novel, the one that manages to be delightful, zany, action packed and original from inception to execution Please excuse and recognize my blatant and epic fangirling for what it is that classic kneejerk reaction of happiness that happens right after finishing an unexpected treat not everyone in the world will be wowed with this foray into Edwardian steampunkery but boy I was Though the first novel Phoenix Rising wasn t quiiiite as perfect, this is the steampunk series everyone should be reading now that Alexia has wrapped up her five novel arc hung up her written parasol duties While the main events of book two of the MoPO were neatly and explosively wrapped up without my predicting the outcome once again, thanks to the amazing Eliza Braun , I will count the minutes wait patiently until I can get my grabby little hands on whatever else next springs from the fertile minds of Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris.By far and away, a third of my love for this book is due entirely to the two main characters at the heart of everything, Eliza Braun and Wellington Books The other 2 3rds are reserved for steampunkery, excellent unpredictable and intelligent antagonists and sheer madcap adventure Their banter and genuine camaraderie are prone to bustups and petty fights, but it s the underlying respect and genuine feeling of friendship between that makes reading these two feel less like characters and like real people It helps that Eliza is a heoine to shame most other heroines she s brash and coarse and willful and exactly whatever she wants to be I love Eliza I always liked her, from the first chapter of book one, but midway through this, I knew I loved her This was the exact moment In New Zealand, there had been such sweetness to their courtship, but back then she had been quite a different person Still a little reckless, but in the way of a young woman not yet as familiar with black powder and explosions Her characterization is seemingly blunt and obvious EXPLODE ALL THE THINGS , but through interactions and over time and pages, with her Ministry Seven, Welly, and the women she relentlessly helps, Eliza is revealed to be much than just a mere colonial or pistol loving walking armoury Wellington Books has been my absolute favorite character from the start and that is only reinforced through his evolution during the last two novels, but The Janus Affair particularly illustrated him as a man of many facets His dry humour is still very much in tact Once into the breach. Sorry, Welly, what was that Shakespeare I always recite it just before placing my career in harm s way but other, lessgentlemanly aspects of his character are brought to the fore These are definitely not stagnant characters they grow and change, make mistakes and adapt, and most importantly, they help one another The working relationship between the two has evolved to be effective and natural Books can than count on Eliza to save him from danger as many times as he saves her.Steampunk itself seems to be evolving to blend quite naturally with two other, less fantastical genres mystery and romance The Janus Affair does have than a bit of both and handles each element quite admirably as Books would say, with aplomb I never felt that one was cheated at the expense of the other never does any romantic entanglement supersede the plot, nor does the mystery overwhelm the sense of compatibility and chemistry between the Sherlockian main characters I have to think that these two authors work together cohesively than any other pairing I ve yet come across Tee Morris and Pip Ballantine complement each other naturally Though a lot of steampunk novels have the secret organization paired with agents used to protect Old Blighty from the supernatural Parasol Protectorate, Newbury Hobbes Investigations and solve paranormal crimes, co authors Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris go to extremely awesome lengths to create a wholly enveloped and imagined alternate universe for their characters to play within They even have a ton of novellas often by other authors in the same universe with different characters There are editions you can purchase, or as free podcasts Much like their imagined version of 1800 s Britain, the steampunk machines and gadgets used by the cast are wholly original, fun and useful without becoming deux ex machinas I especially liked that something from the first book was referenced and used as a slight part of the plot for the second the aethergates anyone it reinforces the feel that this version of England is an ongoing world, not just unconnected vignettes into random episodes The Janus Affair, simply put, is a book that has a lot to offer across a wide variety of areas Original plotting, genuinely twisty and murky mysteries with a high body count, several strong female characters, amusing banter, original and highly creative use of steampunk and gadgets, veeery smart and fully capable antagonists, the slight but oh so effective romance, double agents, explosions and As I said, the main events and plot of this book have been neatly and effectively wrapped up, but there are some few exceptions to the rule I don t want to spoil anything from the novel because this really is a fun mystery to try and solve independently, but there are juicy, unresolved plot tendrils enough to ensure that readers from books one and two will want to read the planned third to figure out the Maestro s plans.I bought the first book, Phoenix Rising, on sale for Nook for a 1.99 late last year and waited several months to dig in I guess I like to wait on my books before I read them Sit on them like a dragon with its hoard, jealously guarding any potential enjoyment I might have when if I start I have 100 bought and waiting to be readI m crazy The publishers were generous enough to send me an ARC copy of The Janus Affair just in time for me to realize how much I was going to love this book, series, characters and how much I needed the sequel the second I finished book one After the last 800 pages with Wellington Books whom I always call Boots in my head before I realize and Eliza, I can say that I will be buying my own physical copies of both these books because I love them that much Hey now that I ve finished book two, any chances of a draft of book three Philippa Tee Anyone Please In the meantime, I ll have to go read the short stories and wait patiently for whatever these creative authors are cooking up for round number three.

  6. says:

    The authors either need better editors or they need vocabulary lessons Shear is not the same as sheer , any is not the same as many and bobble is definitely not the same as bauble And oh, my dog, a grizzly discovery means you just found a bear If you just found a body, that s of a grisly discovery.

  7. says:

    As the second Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel, The Janus Affair than delivers on the promise of last year s Phoenix Rising, even if the story at the heart of it isn t quite as strong With the preliminaries out of the way, Ballantine Morris are able to spend time exploring their steampunk society, developing the relationship between Books and Braun, and building upon some of the plot threads teased but left dangling in the first instalment.Let s start with the steampunk elements While present in the first book, they were either a part of the background or they stood out awkwardly Here, not only are they far prevalent, but they blend very well into the overall story They re still cool and exciting particularly the train at the beginning of the book and the motorcycle near the end , but they just seem to fit better You just get the sense that Ballantine Morris felt a bit relaxed here, making it a bit easier to draw the reader into the fun.We also get to see of the other agents from the Ministry, which is a trend I hope continues in subsequent books.As for the characters, they are truly why this second volume shines First of all, we find out just what was up with Bruce Campbell in the first book, and even if his story isn t perfectly resolved, it s handled very well As for Books and Braun, we get to explore of their respective backstories, particularly with Books by the time you re done this book, the haunting voice of his father will make much sense, and the origin of his James Bond style skills and experience will be satisfactorily exposed The two flirt with the idea of romance much than in the first book but, in the tradition of the best stories of the genre, it remains just that flirting and fun There s still a healthy dose of antagonism and distrust between them, but it s balanced with genuine friendship and admiration.It s just a shame the story behind it all the reason for our two heroes to get out of the Archives isn t as exciting or as compelling as that of Phoenix Rising It all starts out promising enough, with the very public disappearance of several women, all in a very flashy manner to say the least The problem is the mystery of the disappearances is dragged out for too long, one woman disappearing after another, with little in the way of investigative progress or narrative exposure of the dastardly villains and their motives The politics of it all are interesting, if a bit heavy handed at times, but they tend to get in the way of moving the story forward It must be said, however, that while the climactic set piece isn t quite as exciting as the first book, Books does get a far better opportunity to shine.All in all a fun, exciting read that bodes well for future instalments in the series Well worth a read Originally reviewed at Beauty in Ruins

  8. says:

    Rating 4.0 4.5 Genre Steampunk Review The Janus Affair is the second novel in the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences series by Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris It has been nearly a year since the Phoenix Rising episode and once again our heroine Miss Eliza Braun and hero Wellington Books Thornhill Esq are thrown into a mystery of epic proportions which leads to a clumsy reunion with Braun s one time lover and a discovery of Books secrets he s gone through a lot of trouble hiding The duo works as Archivists for the Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences where Braun was placed as a punishment for being a little too overzealous with her bombs and gadgets and not eliminating the person she was sent to kill Braun isn t one to stay put in one place for long without running off and getting herself involved in cases for which she should not have access to Now that she s got access to the Archives cold cases, she is the female version of Sherlock Holmes on steroids, even going as far as investigating MOPD s agents cold cases without authorization In the Janus Affair, Books and Braun witness a woman disappear from a train they are riding on in a flash of light and electricity Braun immediately gets a bee in her bonnet and drags Books into the investigation against the wishes of her superior Doctor Sound who is carrying enough secrets around to fill the Restricted Files The mystery soon unravels and Braun and Book realize that someone is trying to stop the Suffragist movement in its tracks Women who are key components to the fight for women s rights suddenly disappear in a flash of electricity The questions are who is responsible and why are they trying to stop the movement from going forward Once again our Archivist and his former field agent archivist in training find themselves investigating things that the Ministry has all but ignored Eliza once again seems to attract mayhem, chaos, and anarchy wherever she goes This time however, the cause is near and dear to her heart and she is drawn into the investigation when her former mentor Kate Sheppard and lover Douglas arrive in London.Eliza, along with the help of Wellington, Alice the housekeeper, and the Ministry Seven, helps unravel the mystery behind the disappearances while secrets about Wellington s own past finally come out into the light of day There s to Alice than meets the eye as well which I loved reading about For those who enjoy steampunk, The Janus Affair is yet another wonderful edition to the cause I have to say, honestly, that I found this book to be better than Phoenix Rising in scope, world building, characters, and mystery I absolutely loved the ending of this book and can t wait until the third book is released ARC Revcd via Edelweiss 04 09 2012 Expected publication May 29th 2012 by Harper Voyager

  9. says:

    Welly and Miss Eliza D Braun are back, and as wonderfully wacky as ever I want to hang out in the archives with them, be their best friend, adopt their children I love them A lot RTC Maybe Probably not I m busy.

  10. says:

    Books and Braun aka Wells and Eliza are a very engaging duo of agents who work for the The Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences in AU England This is second of the series and it s pleasantly fast paced laced with witty and funny dialogue However there s just too many characters, several inconsequential to the plot thus making it a bit convoluted But I find Wells and Eliza such fun characters, that I m going to read the next in the series